Miss Manners: Is it weird when I talk behind my hand? My husband says it is.

DEAR MISS MANNERS I tend to cover my mouth when I talk especially in constituents places The main reason is so that my voice is lower and won t bother people around me Related Articles Miss Manners The maid of honor s wedding-day surprise was not a pleasant one Miss Manners My wife s habit makes me cringe After all these years should I say something Miss Manners Is my husband right that my phone alarm is rude Miss Manners The graduation invitation now sounds almost like a threat Miss Manners Why do they doubt I m really an engineer I thought I was being considerate but my husband says that it looks weird Is he right GENTLE READER He sure is It looks like you re telling a secret to yourself Miss Manners has seen people who want to talk through a mouthful of food cover their mouths like this but not those trying to modulate their voices Is lowering your volume just too obvious Because it is certainly more intelligible and less confusing DEAR MISS MANNERS When serving a steak the server will often say something along the lines of Please cut into the center to make sure it s cooked the way you want it At a business dinner of around people I was rather rudely corrected for doing so by someone who thought I was about to commence eating before everyone s entree had been served Should I have waited until everyone was served to check my steak even though I wasn t eating yet When a large group is dining in a restaurant what is the proper protocol for checking the doneness of meat On other occasions when a server has given that invitation I constantly cut into the center of the steak right now without taking a bite of it before eating anything else on the plate In a smaller party when everyone s food is served at once it s a nonissue GENTLE READER Ah the old I wasn t starting my dinner I was just trying it The optics do not really distinguish between the two It does feel unfair Miss Manners agrees when the servers are coercing you into the act But since the sparse minutes difference between cutting your meat promptly and waiting until everyone is served is not likely to change the key why peril being rude to others Miss Manners will approach the situation from both ends so to speak She will urge servers to stop the practice instead serving a steak with After you have had a moment to try it please let us know But if they insist on your doing so this instant politely tell them Thank you I will let you know once everyone is served and I ve had a chance to try it Since so several readers complain about overattentive servers the wait should not be long DEAR MISS MANNERS I am caring for a loved one with stage cancer She has a life expectancy of a limited months maybe only weeks Related Articles Dear Abby My mother-in-law torpedoed the surprise party Asking Eric They refuse to take their stuff out of my garage Harriette Cole The bride thinks my wife will create drama at the wedding Miss Manners The maid of honor s wedding-day surprise was not a pleasant one Dear Abby I identified these photos of his proposal to another woman I have certain well-meaning friends who feel that it s helpful to send me poppycock they find on social media on quick cures for cancer These messages are like a body blow and they leave me angry and in tears I usually reply with a simple thank you Is there another way of responding Or should I just let it go GENTLE READER Thank you but I assure you that the doctors are doing everything they can I will let you know if we require any additional internet assistance Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO